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Dating

Why Many Women Are Single: The 100% Criteria Conundrum

Ladies, let’s face it. Finding Mr. Right has become almost as complicated as solving a Rubik’s cube while blindfolded. You swipe left more often than a windshield wiper in a rainstorm, all because you’re looking for someone who meets 100% of your criteria. And guess what? You’re not alone! Welcome to the club of perpetually single women who have mastered the art of relationship analysis even before the first date. Here’s a dive into why many women remain single in the age of endless choices. The Perfection Trap Imagine this: You’re scrolling through a dating app, and you come across a guy who’s 90% perfect. But, oh no! He has a cat, and you’re not a cat person. Next! This relentless pursuit of perfection is like searching for a unicorn in a haystack. Spoiler alert: Unicorns don’t exist. In real life, Mr. Right might be Mr. Almost-Right-But-With-A-Cat.  Pre-Date Analysis Paralysis Before you even say “hello,” you’ve already imagined your life together. You’ve analyzed his job prospects, potential for fatherhood, and whether he’ll laugh at your jokes. This pre-date analysis is like planning the wedding before the first date. It’s exhausting and, frankly, a bit counterproductive. Relax! Sometimes, it’s okay not to have the five-year plan mapped out before you know his favorite pizza topping. The Checklist Dilemma The checklist. Ah, the infamous checklist. He must be tall, dark, handsome, have a stable job, love traveling, be good with kids, and, of course, adore your cat. While having standards is great, an impossibly long checklist might just be your romantic undoing. Remember, even Prince Charming probably leaves the toilet seat up sometimes. Fear of Settling vs. Fear of Missing Out The fear of settling is real. No one wants to end up with someone who doesn’t make their heart skip a beat. But on the flip side, the fear of missing out (FOMO) on the next potential match can keep you in a perpetual state of singleness. It’s a delicate balance between finding someone who meets your needs and recognizing that no one is perfect (except maybe Ryan Gosling, but he’s taken). The Overthinking Overload Overthinking is the enemy of spontaneity. What if he’s not serious? What if he’s a serial dater? What if he doesn’t like broccoli on pizza? (Okay, that one’s a dealbreaker for some.) This mental overload can paralyze you before you even give someone a chance. Take a deep breath and remember that dating should be fun, not a strategic chess match. Embrace Imperfection Here’s the kicker: Embracing imperfection might just be the key to finding happiness. The perfect guy might not check every single box, but he might check the ones that matter most. Sometimes, it’s about finding someone whose quirks complement your own, not someone who’s flawless. Conclusion So, ladies, next time you’re tempted to swipe left because he doesn’t have a chiseled jawline or a PhD in astrophysics, give him a chance. You might just find that Mr. Almost-Right-But-With-A-Cat is exactly what you’ve been looking for. After all, love is about finding someone who’s perfectly imperfect for you.

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SelfLove

Detox from Dating

I love love and I want everyone to have it, but that doesn’t mean that you should be chasing it 24/7. No way! Taking a break from the dating scene is sometimes the best thing you can do for your romantic life. There are so many reasons why a detox from dating could make sense for you. … you need a rest from the terrible first-date merry-go-round. Hello, that sentence basically describes my 20s! Looking back, I wish I took more dating detoxes instead of jumping headlong into bad date after bad date. It got exhausting and frustrating. … you need a break after a serious relationship ends. I sure did after my big breakup! I went months before I was ready to date, and I’m so glad I did. I used that time to heal, get to know myself better and realign my priorities. … you’re just too busy for love. I’ve been there too. Dating the right way takes a lot of time and effort. If you don’t have the hours or the energy to spend right now, wait until you do. You’ll be more successful when the time is right — love comes when you’re ready for it. No matter your reasons for a dating detox, here are a few easy ways to get out of the dating scene. Mr. Right will be waiting for you when you’re ready to step back in. The following are 6 ways to detox from dating… I’m a huge proponent of online dating. Lovely things happen online but only if the time is right. If you’re detoxing, get off the dating sites. Delete your accounts and uncheck those bookmarks. Take the time to really detox and don’t leave any windows open for you to slip up and starting chatting with men. You’re detoxing for a reason. Make it easy for yourself to stick with your plan 100 percent. When you’re detoxing, spend the energy you would have spent dating on making your relationships with your girlfriends even stronger. Plan special nights, go on girls-only trips and show the most important women in your life how much you care. The extra love you show your girls is going to instantly boost your relationships, and after some less than awesome dating experiences, it will be super rewarding to get back exactly what you put into a relationship. Remember how awesome you are? I can’t hear you. I said remember how awesome you are? That’s a little better. The truth is that you probably don’t know how fantastic you really are. After a slew of tough first dates or a really crappy break up, I know that I would start to feel the icks about myself. As soon as that feeling kicks in, I’d kick it to the curb by spending time alone and getting back in touch with my inner goddess. You have an inner goddess, and you need to find her and believe in her before you can find a man who will treat you like a goddess. A dating detox does not mean a man detox. Just like it’s important to have strong relationships with women in your life, it’s important to have non-romantic relationships with men. Spend time with your bestie and her husband or have a working lunch with that new man in the office. Train your brain to not react to every guy with a pecker as a possible boyfriend. Plus, it’ll be refreshing to be around male energy without any expectations or nerves. You’re going to have a lot of free time on your hands when you stop going on dates, thinking about dates, planning dates and primping for dates. Spend that time with your family, the people who know you best. It could mean spending more time with your kids, talking to your parents more, or making a trip to go out and see your niece and nephew. Believe me, no one’s ever looked back on their life and said they wished they had spent more time on bad dates and less time with their family. Think about it. Have you always wanted to learn guitar? Run a marathon? Write a short story? Then go for it, girl! You can totally do it. The best thing you can do is take lessons or join a group to go after this passion. You’ll meet interesting people and expand your social circle. When detox time is over, you’ll have a new pool of like-minded cuties to pick from. Bonus! Xoxo, Philadelphia’s Premiere Match-Maker. Blog taken from Patti Knows.

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Attraction

Are You Pushing Men Away?

I hear it all the time “I can’t find a man because I intimidate men.” Believe me, I know this because I used to say it until I realized that all men, including successful, powerful business men and Alpha males, aren’t all intimidated by me. Was I perhaps making excuses for actually pushing men away? Maybe some of my actions were actually turning men off and they just couldn’t wait for the date to be over so they could cut and run. Many accomplished women forget how to turn the career driven, executive woman off and let the vulnerable, feminine woman shine through on a date and/or in a relationship. Why can this be a problem? Men ultimately still want to feel like the protector/hunter. They desire to help a damsel in distress once in a while. Maybe it’s as simple as fixing a light bulb, making us laugh, holding us when we are sad, etc. They want a woman who can be silly, vulnerable, attentive and loving. A woman who needs them. OUCH! Yes, I said it….need. If you want a relationship, then you need to want to love someone else and be loved, share your happy times, heartaches and compliment each other by bringing cool things to the table to teach and experience with each other. Don’t get me wrong, you DON’T need to lose your successful, edgy flare and act “needy”.  You just need to be open to receiving sometimes and balance your executive side with your softer girly side. The bottom line is that if we are telling men that we are completely independent, don’t need a man, tell them how to fix and/or run their business and life, talk about how accomplished and successful we are in business, etc., don’t appreciate what he brings to the table, he’s going to lose interest quickly. Ladies, it’s amazing how far we have come and the outstanding accomplishments we have all attained in our lives!! We should be proud and own our accomplishments. Let’s just not forget the vulnerable, little girl inside us who wants prince charming to ride in on his horse and give us that huge kiss to snap us out of our workaholic, “me” focused slumber and remind us there is more to life then just the daily grind. For more dating advice, or to schedule your personal coaching call today, click HERE. Xoxo, Philadelphia’s Premiere Matchmaker

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Modern Dating

Cougars and Their Cubs

Cougars and their cubs. In an age where older women are more beautiful, self confident, and career driven than ever, they are choosing younger men for companionship and perhaps a more, energetic, fulfilling sex life. I think it’s wonderful that the tables have turned and women have the same opportunities as men do in terms of dating younger and having trophy boyfriends. On occasion, these relationships work out for the long term but how realistic is a long term relationship and/or marriage for MOST of these scenarios? There are several issues to think about before you get in too deep. For starters, make sure you have the tough conversation about having or not having children if you are thinking about a future together. What if the woman is 48 and her boyfriend is 30-35 or even 40 and decides he wants children? Here is a great article about Cougars and their Cubs. Cheers to all of the ladies out there who are owning their inner and outer beauty and cherishing the moment! Looking to take your dating to the next level, schedule a call today!

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Dating

First Date Tips for Women

Here are some first date tips for women. 1. Planning the date: Gentleman should take charge of planning the date but, if he asks for ideas, speak freely. Likewise, if he picks a venue that you don’t like, tell him.EXAMPLE: If he plans to take you to a sushi Restaurant and you hate fish, the worst thing that you could do is tell him this once you are seated. If your date asks you what you would like to do, what your favorite restaurants are, etc., “I don’t care, what do you like,” is not an acceptable answer. Have an opinion. Wishy-washy isn’t attractive and can get old really fast. 2. Be on Time: Period. 3. Dress to impress: Men are visual creatures, therefore, first impressions are EVERYTHING. They want to see that you put time into looking good for your date. Your outfit needs to be appropriate for the date venue but should still be flirty, sexy and classy and comfortable. If you are unsure of date worthy outfits, you can hire a personal shopper or image consultant. (I’d be happy to provide references). 4. Be confident!: Dates can be nerve racking, but you don’t want to let this emotion come across. Have good posture, make eye contact, smile, and have fun!TIPS: Make sure that you can breathe in your fantastic flirty outfit and walk in your shoes. Fussy outfits can not only make us nervous, but also take our focus away from the date! Additionally, if you get nervous on dates, there are tools to help you gain confidence. (Once again, I’d be happy to provide you with references). 5. No Cell Phones!: This goes for men too. When you are on a date, you need to be present in the conversation. Texting, emailing, and/or accepting phone calls during a date, is not only rude but can come across as you are uninterested in the person. 6. Don’t not eat: If you think not eating on a date is going to make you appear skinnier, prettier, more mysterious or feminine, guess what? It won’t. It will probably actually make your date a bit uncomfortable. Men like it when a woman is comfortable eating on a date. Not eating can imply shyness and insecurity which is not the image that you want to portray, is it? 7. Don’t drink too much: Sure, a couple cocktails can help loosen up the mood but know your limits. Not only does alcohol impair your judgment (hence the term “beer goggles” or “coyote ugly”), you don’t want to be slurring your words or have to be carried out of the restaurant by your date. 8. Good topics of conversation: Talk about your hobbies, sports, passions and pursuits, favorite travel destinations, what you both like to do to relax on weekends, etc. Make sure to ask him questions and LISTEN. A conversation goes both ways…both people should be sharing. Basically, it should flow like a tennis match. 9. Poor topics of conversation: Don’t talk about X’s…..EVER!!! This is a big NO, NO. You should be focusing on getting to know your date. Leave your intimate stories and emotional baggage at home. Once you get to know each other, it is appropriate to discuss X’s. In addition, stay away from politics and religion. 10. Flirt: If you are into your date, let him know it. Sweet, innocent flirting is always welcomed if both parties are interested in each other. Lean in when he talks, listen, touch his arm or shoulder for a brief moment (when appropriate) during the conversation to show him that you are into him. 11. When it comes to goodnight, let the guy take the lead. If you are into him and he goes in for the kiss, kiss him back. If you are not interested in him, initiate a handshake or a quick hug. Also, if you are looking for a relationship, NO sex on the first date. 12. After the first date, let him reach out to you. If you must send him a text, than abide by KISS; “Keep it Simple & Straightforward”. “Hey, I had a really great time. Thank you”. DONE. Only send ONE text. DO NOT TEXT, “OMG, I had the best time ever! You’re so amazing! You could be the one! Want to come to lunch with my BFF’s & me tomorrow? LMK ASAP! Xoxoxxoxo.” Even if you had the best date, with this type of text, you will send him running. Stay poised and cool ladies. If he is interested, he will reach out to you. Reminder: First dates are for both parties to meet each other and decide if they would like to continue getting to know each other. If one party is not interested after the first date, that is OKAY. Do not be upset, thinking something is wrong with you, or be angry if this happens. Be thankful that the person was honest with you and themselves and isn’t stringing you along! ***Safety tip***If you do not know your date through a previous meeting or introduction through a friend, family or matchmaker, NEVER let him pick you up for your first date. Also make sure to meet him at a public, well-lit venue. XO,KDP

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