dating

Attraction

Are You Pushing Men Away?

I hear it all the time “I can’t find a man because I intimidate men.” Believe me, I know this because I used to say it until I realized that all men, including successful, powerful business men and Alpha males, aren’t all intimidated by me. Was I perhaps making excuses for actually pushing men away? Maybe some of my actions were actually turning men off and they just couldn’t wait for the date to be over so they could cut and run. Many accomplished women forget how to turn the career driven, executive woman off and let the vulnerable, feminine woman shine through on a date and/or in a relationship. Why can this be a problem? Men ultimately still want to feel like the protector/hunter. They desire to help a damsel in distress once in a while. Maybe it’s as simple as fixing a light bulb, making us laugh, holding us when we are sad, etc. They want a woman who can be silly, vulnerable, attentive and loving. A woman who needs them. OUCH! Yes, I said it….need. If you want a relationship, then you need to want to love someone else and be loved, share your happy times, heartaches and compliment each other by bringing cool things to the table to teach and experience with each other. Don’t get me wrong, you DON’T need to lose your successful, edgy flare and act “needy”.  You just need to be open to receiving sometimes and balance your executive side with your softer girly side. The bottom line is that if we are telling men that we are completely independent, don’t need a man, tell them how to fix and/or run their business and life, talk about how accomplished and successful we are in business, etc., don’t appreciate what he brings to the table, he’s going to lose interest quickly. Ladies, it’s amazing how far we have come and the outstanding accomplishments we have all attained in our lives!! We should be proud and own our accomplishments. Let’s just not forget the vulnerable, little girl inside us who wants prince charming to ride in on his horse and give us that huge kiss to snap us out of our workaholic, “me” focused slumber and remind us there is more to life then just the daily grind. For more dating advice, or to schedule your personal coaching call today, click HERE. Xoxo, Philadelphia’s Premiere Matchmaker

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Red Flags

Are You Dating a Bully?

Are you dating a bully? Bullies come in all sizes, shapes and ages and YES, you may be dating one. Some people never grow out of their learned behaviors and even scarier may develop adult bullying tendencies. How do you know? Does your partner have temper tantrums when they don’t get their way or are feeling neglected? Are they nasty to wait staff and other service people when they aren’t happy with the service?  When you get into a disagreement, do they over talk or yell at you when they are angry or unhappy? Is everything always your fault in their eyes? If your answer is yes, then you may be dating a bully and you should get out ASAP These are unhealthy relationships. Relationships are about give and take not someone always getting their way and fulfilling their own needs without regards to their partner. For more dating advice, or to schedule your personal coaching call today, click HERE. Xoxo, Philadelphia’s Premiere Matchmaker

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Dating Problems

Ghosting 101

Ghosting 101. Have you ever ghosted someone you’ve been dating? If you have, shame on you. If you don’t have enough kindness and character to tell someone that you don’t want to see her/him anymore, then you shouldn’t be dating. You should spend your money on therapy and work on yourself first. For those of you who have been ghosted, it is an awful experience. Why? For starters, the rejection actually activates pathways in the brain associated with physical pain. You can actually reduce the emotional pain of rejection by taking pain medication. In addition, ghosting is so difficult to experience because you’re left feeling powerless and rejected. You start to question if you meant anything to the person as well as questioning yourself and your own judgment. “How did I not see this coming?” “How can I ever trust myself again?”  To add to the awesome feeling of being ghosted, it also knocks your self-esteem and confidence down. Please read this article if you have been ghosted or have ghosted another. Letting someone down who really likes you is never easy but respect others, and yourself, enough to do the right thing. Be kind and let them down easy. For more dating advice, or to schedule your personal coaching call today, click HERE. Xoxo, Philadelphia’s Premiere Matchmaker https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much

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Dating Problems

Holiday Break-Ups

The most high volume months for holiday break-ups are November, December and the beginning of February. Why? There is a lot of pressure from family, gift giving and overall re-evaluation of one’s relationship. A holiday breakup can be so devastating because of the time off and the unavoidable questions surrounding the breakup. Don’t ignore your feelings though. It’s important to let ourselves feel sad and go through a healing stage before we can open our hearts, feel whole and awesome again. Holidays are a difficult time for relationships to end due to past memories. Then you have your family asking what happened. There is a lot of downtime for these talks because we’re not keeping our minds occupied with work. The good news is that after you get through the holiday season, 2019 will be a much easier time for you. In the meantime, give yourself allotted time during the day to grieve and then consciously move on to happier thoughts and activities. Do things that make you feel joyful and fulfilled. Spend time with those you love and be grateful for the blessings you have in your life this holiday season. You will pass through this time quicker than you thing and put holiday break-ups behind you. Hang in there! I promise you will start feeling better after the holidays are over. XOXO

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Dating Problems

When do you have sex when dating?

When do you have sex when dating? I get asked this question every week, and there are no rules about this but there are recommendations. If you want to connect with a person and see where things go for a long-term relationship, it is best to wait until you know each other enough to communicate effectively, in and out of the bedroom. Make sure you are on the same page for what you are both looking for in a partner. Is it just a fun time or a possible relationship if things go well? Also, for women, you will feel more at ease when there is a foundation of trust and good communication. Trust usually inspires better sex because you will feel relaxed and can enjoy yourself more. In addition, for you men, if you wait a bit, you’ll weed out the crazy ones who you may not “feel” it with after sex but who are now hiding in your bushes to persuade you that this is love. 😉 How long should you wait? Until you get married? 3-5 dates? 3 months? Ultimately, you need to do what feels right to you but new research shows that 36 hours is the number! 😉 For me, I believe waiting until after the honeymoon stage (3 months) or until you are married can be detrimental to your relationship. Why? For one, you may not be sexually compatible. Secondly, don’t you want to experience that fun honeymoon stage as much as possible? Ultimately, the decision is yours on when to have sex when dating, and you have to be comfortable with it. Here’s an article to help you think it through in the meantime. Ready for a Consultation? Click here to schedule today!

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